Staying healthy behind a desk, while raising kids
I'm Ashley, a 37-year-old software engineer, dad of one (soon two), and I've spent 15+ years sitting at a desk. This is what it did to me, and what I'm doing about it.
The wake-up call
At 37, after 15+ years of desk work, things started adding up. A blood test came back with total cholesterol of 8.6 (the limit is 5), LDL of 6.0, and triglycerides at 3.4. Testosterone was low-normal at 10.5.
Constant neck and back pain that never fully went away. I couldn't sit in a deep squat without my heels lifting off the floor. My ankles had seized up from years of sitting. My right foot turns outward when I stand, because tight hip flexors have pulled everything out of alignment.
I wasn't overweight by BMI standards, but at 90kg I wasn't where I wanted to be. None of this was dramatic. It was all just gradual. The kind of stuff you ignore until you can't.
This wasn't ageing. This was sitting.
Symptoms you might not connect to your desk
I had most of these and didn't connect them to my desk for years.
Tight hip flexors
My foot turns outward when I stand. Took me ages to realise my hips were pulling everything out of line.
Can't squat properly
My heels lift off the floor. Years of sitting destroyed my ankle mobility and I had no idea.
Neck and upper back pain
Never fully goes away. I kept doing desk stretches thinking that would fix it. It didn't.
Low testosterone
A sedentary lifestyle tanks your hormones. Nobody told me that until I got my blood work done.
High cholesterol
I'm not overweight. I don't eat terribly. But sitting all day changes how your body handles fat.
Sugar cravings and energy crashes
The 3pm crash every single day. I blamed willpower for years when it was really about how my body processes fuel when sedentary.
Brain fog and poor focus
Hard to concentrate when you're running on empty and your posture is crushing your diaphragm.
Weak glutes
My lower back was compensating for glutes that had basically switched off. Sat on them for 10 hours a day, what did I expect.
What I'm doing about it
Moving
I built a home gym in the garage. Squat rack, bench, Olympic bar, hex bar, dumbbells, pull-up bar. Nothing fancy, just functional.
I'm following a structured programme designed around my restrictions. I started with hex bar deadlifts instead of conventional because the higher handles need less mobility. I wear Adidas powerlifting shoes with raised heels to work around my ankle mobility while I build it back.
3 sessions per week, 45 minutes max. That's all the time there is.
Eating
Intermittent fasting, 16:8. Eating window is 12pm to 8pm. IF was the only thing that controlled the sugar binges. I'm not following any specific diet, just eating real food in a window.
Black coffee during fasted hours. That's it.
Mobility
I keep a Norma stretch board at my standing desk for passive calf stretching, usually 2+ hours a day while working. 90/90 hip stretches. Glute bridges before every workout.
This is the slow game. Months of consistent work for gradual improvement.
Ergonomics
Standing desk (Jarvis), Herman Miller chair, and a balance stool. I alternate between all three throughout the day. The goal is to never be in one position for too long.
Tracking
Whoop band for sleep, recovery, and strain. Withings scale for weight trends. Regular blood tests to see what's actually changing under the hood. I'd rather trust numbers than how I feel on any given day.
The dad factor
No 5am routines. No 2-hour gym sessions. There's a window between the kids going to bed and my own collapse. That's where the work happens.
Football on Monday nights with the school dads. That's my cardio and my social life in one go.
The goal isn't a six-pack. I want to pick up my kids without my back hurting, and be around long enough to see them grow up.
Most fitness content is made by people with no responsibilities. This is for the rest of us.
Current progress
This section will update as things change. That's the point.